Bob’s final thoughts

    So I’ve been asked to contribute to THE MIGHTY BLOG (which I can’t wait to read), providing a few overall thoughts on this experience. I’ve been so focused on every current and future step (in addition to CMT and other current work) that I have had very little time to reflect. Given the feelings of sadness that I've had as we near the end of this trip, I know these memories and reflections are going to be something special. Although we’ve been talking about this trip for a good 10 years, the experience itself feels like the blink of an eye…with a twist….we have a TON of memories together that will last a lifetime. This trip was SOOO much more than I expected, in just about every way. So where to start? How about going back to our 3 initial goals…. Exploring together, learning together, and building stronger bonds.

    1. Exploring together:

This journey had waaaay more sites and scenes that I had expected, and in an easy way. Found our groove quickly, managing to dos (exercise, school, CMT, trip planning, blog), daily touring, and downtime (together and apart). We learned that the kids only have so many steps and minutes in their daily exploring, and we did what we could to keep our exploring within those limits. That allowed us to add to our experiences daily without running out of steam, and provided a nice evening of fun (cards, programs & movies) food (home cooked and local restaurants), and reflection & planning together.

Almost every day included something new, and as the months progressed it became difficult to remember what we were doing even a week prior. Thank goodness for Kristin’s blog!!! With dozens if not hundreds of cathedrals, palaces, fortresses, sunsets, waterfalls, mountain ranges, gorges, and museums, we always tried to find the right pace and a few standout sections to dive in deep. We also LOVED the afternoon sit down treats, both at restaurants or finding an amazing picnic spot on the go (all hail the PB&J!).

We also enjoyed a number of concerts and various musical performances - Symphonies at Royal Albert Hall and in the Salzburg fortress, Diana Krall in Cascais, Buena Vista Social Club in Madeira, the Nutcracker in Split, numerous bands outside in Croatia and Slovenia, a cappella in Bled and tons of street performers. We loved our tours in Bayeux (Normandy), 3rd Reich in Munich, push scooters in Salzburg, Lava caves in Iceland, salt mines near Salzburg, and the largest cave tour in Slovenia. We would have loved a futball game or live rugby, but were happy to come across a top notch cricket match in Scotland, and of course Wimbledon and the Tour de France. Our VPN allowed us to enjoy our Packers every step of the way (including games that were not broadcast in Denver).

The kids surprised us with their comfort exploring new tastes, which continued to advance throughout the trip. They tried just about everything that we offered, really enjoying pork shank, schnitzel, Bosnian cevapi & sausages, ham & cheese Baguettes, chicken cordon blue, Slovenian kavat, avjar, and tiramisu, although we always appreciated the fallback to PB&J’s, cheerios, and butter noodles.

We were amazingly fortunate in our timing of various national holidays and cultural events. We will mark our calendars and celebrate annually the following events which we enjoyed with the locals.

June 17: National Day in Iceland

June 22: Midsummers Day in Sweden

July 14: France Bastille day

End of Sept: Oktoberfest in Munich (and Austria)

Nov 10: Ataturk death in Turkey -

Nov 21: Bosnian Dayton Agreement

Dec 6: Dubrovnik Remembrance Day

    2. Learning together

You can learn something from everyone and everything. Thoughts that emerge when I think about learning together include: navigating online school (let alone learning the subjects), first hand history lessons of WW1 & WW2 from the vantage point of England, France, Austria, & Germany, Bosnia, discussing good and bad of various government structures, Roman Empire, Ottoman Empire, Napoleon’s impact through Europe, etc. We found comfort discussing uncomfortable topics like relationships, religion, puberty (nuf said).

We researched each country before, during, and after our visits, and saw a number of puzzle pieces come together as we moved from place to place. Kristin’s paper bag notes really connected the dots from Franz Ferdinands assassination in Sarajevo to start WW1, to Hitlers rise to power and ultimate suicide in Eagles nest, to the turn of the war in Normandy, and the Atomic Bomb drop on Hiroshima (via a documentary on a king size bed in our ship like room at the Bloc hotel).

We also kept up on current world events (Austria’s new third Reich-like aggressive, rude, dangerous leader, Turkeys leader Erdoğan questionable 20+ yrs in office pushing religion as a control mechanism and providing support to Syria against Israel), leveraging international news sources that would wouldn’t typically tap in the US. We also learned a lot of fun things together, like the art of the Swedish sauna, photography, pottery, gin rummy, sheepshead, double solitaire, and snowman art. We also learned how to connect with people in different countries and languages, how to navigate, and how to figure things out as even the basics were not always straight forward.

    3. Building stronger bonds: 

This, the most important and long lasting goal, we nailed. 24/7 for 7 months, we were side by side. Of course there were some frustrations, but likely less than we typically have at home. We have become trusted tutors in school which we hope to hold onto after we return, and trusted elders for life's questions. Although our kids have wonderful friends at home, we realize how much time in our ‘regular life’ that we don’t spend together, and as such how much is influenced by people that we don’t even know. We came to understand that our energy has a huge affect on the group, and we all became better at being patient, at listening, and at adding humor when we saw the opportunity. We also recognized how much clutter exists in our regular world as we were able to disconnect a bit from those distractions and focus on the needs of each day. This ‘simpler life’ was a breath of fresh air that continuously gave us energy and appreciation of what was all around us. Our bonds have never been stronger...I love this family.

We also strengthened our bonds with friends and family, spending multiple days with Aunt Wendy, Uncle Mats, and their friends and family in Aland (including Lele, Suzanne, and Berit); Cousin Sam in Stockholm; Paulo, Cecilia, Francisco and friends in Cascais; the Robinsons’ in Lisbon, Porto and Madeira; the Sanders and the Fischer's in London; and a surprise visit by Josie in Antalya. Saying goodbye was always tough, but we were thankful to have them tied to this unforgettable journey. We also made a few new bonds along the way that we hope to retain, including Esmir and family in Sarajevo, Anne Marie in Bodrum, Maria in Dubrovnik, and Kaitlin (CMT) in Bayeux.

In 7 months of travel, we had 45 different stops across 17 countries. We explored more than many do in their lifetime. We learned firsthand about some of the worlds biggest events in history. And most importantly, we strengthened our bonds with the ones we love, sometimes by starting new bonds with others. Although we never really felt all that uncomfortable, it sure was nice to be each others comfort blanket along the way. I couldn’t be more happy with the journey that we shared, and the results that we achieved. I’m excited to find ways to continue advancing our family on these 3 fronts for the rest of our lives. After all, isn’t that what it’s all about…. MORE LIFE!!!!

Of course, I’m also happy to be returning to our wonderful home and phenomenal community of family and friends. We enjoy being productive and advancing our causes, staying fit and eating healthy, and of course all the creature comforts that our home in America affords. We appreciate the history of Europe AND the conveniences of America. There are pluses and minuses to almost everything and everywhere. What’s important is to experience and appreciate each of them as they tend to complement each other.

Lastly, after seeing so many different cultures and the devastation from hatred and war that is oftentimes based on small differences, it’s harder than ever to understand the growing divisions and negativity that seem to be expanding globally. Seeing leaders who leverage fear and division is similar to the trait I hate most... putting others down to make yourself look better. It's just so weak and shortsighted. Supporting leaders who rely on fear and division is like stepping back in time. We need to learn from past mistakes and move forward together with positivity and long term perspective. A wise man once said..."We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools" - MLK.  If we can spend more time shaking hands and breaking bread with friends AND strangers and less time on digital distractions, the world will no doubt be a better place.

This was a once in a lifetime experience for all of us. Although we still have a few miles and memories before we reach home, I’m looking forward to the next one already! Let’s GOOOOOO!!!!

K “The ultimate souvenir is a broader perspective" - Rick Steves

My final thoughts are divided into two parts. The first section I wrote on the flights from Istanbul to Chicago, and then from Chicago to Denver. The second part I wrote after being at home for two weeks.

Part One:

We enjoyed the simplicity in our journey:

there were no gyms, no different kids' activities everywhere (swim, dance, karate, gymnastics, etc) no large stores always available (Target, King Sooopers, etc)

Instead, we see families spending more time together - America seems more about convenience - stores always open, wide fast roads, people hurried. 

uncluttered

We have just what we need but nothing more. Our packing cubes are a big win; we all know where each piece of clothing is and exactly what we have. It is so easy and simple.

Lack of drama - we are removed from all other relationships and just focused on each other. We feel like we spend a lot of time w our kids, and are focused on quality, but this trip makes us appreciate the amount of solid togetherness we have experienced in these last 6.5 months. One of Bob's friends commented that even when he’s with his kids, he feels like he is distracted by other things (catching up on emails, texts). We relied on each other, trusted each other, and realized that each of us had the power to positively or negatively affect the overall mood of the group, and so even when the activity might not be what you wanted to be doing, you engaged in it for the benefit of all of us.

Reintegration:

I love our family, friends, community…but reintegration feels complicated and makes me feel tired. I feel so conflicted.

While we were away I found myself feeling frustrated and fed up with easy things being difficult - washing machine and grocery store translating, adjusting to different kitchens and food availability at grocery stores, not being able to go on a comfortable walk from our place, not being able to drink tap water. But now, heading home to all of the comforts that we are used to, where easy things will be easy again, I’m conflicted because with all of those comforts also come the complexities and distractions of typical American family life.

At times I found myself feeling tired of my role in our family unit of planning the food to buy, grocery shopping, lunch and dinner planning/making, and calculating the consumption of our food to minimize the amount we had to transport to our next place. It was this balance of having enough, but not too much, but also knowing it was nice to arrive with enough food to our new place that we didn’t have to grocery shop immediately (especially if it happened to be a Sunday). The constant food calculation was getting tiresome. I missed my job, and the intense personal satisfaction it brings to me.

But now, returning home to where I can freely buy groceries and not calculate our next move, and returning to the career I love, that also means I won’t be seeing my kids all morning while they sit and do their schoolwork. I won’t be fixing lunch for 4 and asking the kids if they got enough accomplished so we could tour a bit that afternoon. I won’t be taking duvets out of their coverings in each new place to create a top sheet (no top sheets anywhere!)

With the simple, uncluttered life we had came with it some logistic frustrations and role monotony for me - but also the joy and beauty of being with our kids all day every day. I didn’t know how much Bob and I would love and appreciate that piece…and how sad I feel to send them off to school in a few days. We did everything together - exercising, exploring, eating, discussing, moving, packing. Now, our task is discussing how we can preserve the bonds and togetherness we cemented and keep it going at home.

The kids are so excited to get home, and say they feel little sadness that our journey is ending (though Quinn came to me this morning at Wendy’s house and said he was excited to get home but sad it was ending - then asked me for a hug - a very sweet moment). Quinn also said he was surprised how much he loved our trip and how much that surprised him because he was dreading it ever since we talked about doing it for the past few years.

Bob and I feel more of a mix of emotions - and I think that comes with age and experience and life events. I feel intense nostalgia when I think of all the years of talking about the dream of taking this trip, the planning involved to make it happen, then actually achieving the journey, and now almost being back on the ground in Denver returning to our regular life. We’ve had 50 stops in 17 countries and are returning to our home after 210 days away…and I’m looking backwards thinking, “did that trip actually happen?” I’m incredulous that it did, and nostalgic that this segment of our lives is over and will never happen again (in the same capacity - with our kids at these ages, and receptive to us and our thoughts/beliefs).

We were briefly on the ORD airport train with a woman who commented on the amount of luggage the 4 of us had (our 4 roller duffels plus an extra roller). We told her we’d been traveling for 7 months, and her face lit up and wanted to hear all we could say in the short amount of time we had together. When Bob and I expressed a bit of sadness/melancholy that it was over, she smiled big and said, “but you DID it!” I think I will be hearing her voice in my head for awhile, and it will bring me joy to remember what the 4 of us experienced together.

Part Two:

I am unpacking, and I am overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and thankfulness.

I love our little community, our little piece of the world. I always knew that, but I feel a renewed intense appreciation for the charmed life we live.

All of our intense thinking, planning, and packing...it all paid off. I think I already knew this about myself, but it really came to light with this trip: I get intense satisfaction/pride from being prepared for all things. Everything had a home, and I knew exactly where each critical piece was (anti itch cream, needle/thread, scissors, pink eye drops, thermometer, cough medicine, extra straps for Quinn's brace - probably my biggest 'W'!). I love being able to help when someone needs it, whether it's dental floss or a medical emergency. My quart-sized bag of Kind/Lara bars made it around the world with me, smooshed in the pocket of my backpack where they were always accessible. At one point Bob found them and wanted to send them back with me in August because we never used them and they were heavy, but I couldn't part with them. They were part of my 'what if' security blanket that brought me comfort :-)

The things that I had along that Amy and Matt recommended to us that I would not have thought of but that were awesome to have: scissors (so many places did not have them), laundry detergent in sheets (TOTAL necessity! So easy to travel with), the passport/phone holder that attached to my backpack strap, packing cubes (initially did not think I needed, but are so necessary!)

Bob's planning with all the pieces of our travel was amazing, from our accommodations and transportation, to distances from place to place, and points of interest in each location. He is an expert at mapping out every detail that gave us so many unforgettable days and memories.

We all stayed completely healthy for the whole trip - unbelievable. I was oftentimes worried about my parent's health, and knew I may have to make an emergency flight back to Wisconsin. That never happened. We always felt safe. We didn't get robbed. We didn't get bedbugs, but I most definitely gave my kids a complex about it! (In trying to be educational before we left, I told them what to look for on the mattress/sheets in each new place, and in doing so made them excessively worry!) Since we've returned, I've seen an article that Turkish Airlines has had a number of flights infested with 'bb's' (as Simone started referring to them) from Istanbul to the States - OMG! I can't imagine if that would have been our ending to this trip!

I loved our phases of our trip: summer vacation and travel, school starting and a routine begins, then cultural learning in Turkey and Bosnia. I loved the Wonder Years (so many good conversation starters!), James Bond (watching it in Istanbul where we saw scenes filmed there and in Venice where we just were!), Ted Lasso (watching it in Richmond and visiting his bar), and Christmas movies every night.

I loved all the pieces that we extensively planned, and also the surprises along the way. We planned to dive deep into WWII history, but we never expected to be in Bosnia-Herzegovina immersed in the history of the Bosnian War. I have vivid memories of sitting with Bob on the rooftop of our hotel in Cappadoccia, and sharing his frustration in trying to plan our time out of the Schengen region in countries he never planned on going to (Turkey, Bosnia, Albania, Montenegro). So, to have Bosnia be one of the surprise highlights of our whole journey is so amazing. I don't think Bosnia would have ever been on our travel radar, and I am so grateful we were there! I would absolutely return.

Finally, I love the feeling that we were being watched over and that Bob and I made the right decisions for our family with the information that we had available at the time. We met certain people and learned specific information at various times that helped to shape the trip into the fantastic experience that it was: managing our time in/out of Schengen at the start of the trip which resulted in only needing 45 days out at the end, staying at the Sander's place while they were in the US, learning we were approved for our visa but then talking with Paulo's friend and realizing we shouldn't go through with it, following Durst's itinerary in Turkey, and making the decision to come home to start the New Year.

It feels right to be home right now. Our trip was a win, and we squeezed the absolute most out of 6.5 months. We love having our basement exercise room back, especially for Quinn to make sure he's staying as strong and as flexible as possible. It's comforting to have his medical team at Children's close by, and know that if we need care that we're in the US and we'll be well cared for.

The thing I am most thankful for is the trust our kids have in Bob and me. They talk to us and confide in us, and I so hope that continues now that we're home. I was amazed at their resilience during our travels, and how they never cried or broke down about missing things/people at home, which would have been totally understandable but it never happened! They embraced the experiences, all the newness, and the lack of familiarity. When I've shared this with a few people, they credit Bob and me for how well the kids adjusted...which is nice to hear, but they deserve most of it. There was so much change, so many new beds and new food, and it all could have easily become too much.

I want to remember all the words/phrases the kids have said so much over the past 7 months, so Simone wrote them down for me:

Gyatt - butt

Skibity - cool, nice

Rizzy - good looking

Rizzler - someone who is cool

Sigma - cool, nice

Bet - ok

Bet cu - ok, yes

Bet cuzzo - ok, yes

SUUUUUUUU - LETS GOOO

Cracked - really good

Dingus - idiot, silly, used everyday

Dingus eggs - idiot, silly

Chill your buttery biscuits - chill

Slay baddie - cool person

That’s an L - too bad for you, used everyday

That's a W - good for you

Homeward Bound

 12/27: Bob and I each set two alarms to make sure we were out of the hotel on time! We drove the 20 minutes to the Ljubljana airport and returned the car (after asking for some guidance from another rental car counter - we thought we had things figured out after our dry run yesterday, but still the instructions from the car company and the signage were not very clear!). We're glad we had plenty of time.

Our flight to Istanbul was on time and easy, but when we landed we learned that our flight to O'Hare was delayed 3 hours. Ugh. Thankfully we were in the IST airport, and not the Sabiha Gokcen airport that we flew into and out of before (where it was so jammed with people and I felt claustrophobic with people bumping into me and violating my personal space). The IST airport we learned was only 6 years old, and it was HUGE. There is basically an enormous mall inside of it with every luxury shop you can imagine. We spent some time walking around, and I pointed out the numerous women with puffed up lips that you could spot from 20 feet away. I laughed at Bob's comments: "Did they do that to themselves? Do they think that looks good?"

The layers of security to board the plane were more intense than we have ever experienced. Everyone had already been through general security, but now we waited in line to go through two different passport check stations, and then various people had their carryon luggage opened and all the contents removed and examined. When we asked why this increased security, they gave us a quizzical look and said this is standard.

Thankfully all went smoothly on our 12 hr flight to O'Hare, and Bob and Quinn had a seat open between them. We breezed through customs as US citizens, all of our bags made it (we never had a lost bag our whole trip!), and we barely made it to the rental car counter before it closed at midnight. It sure would have been nice to arrive at 6:30pm as scheduled instead of 10:30, but we were thankful to be in the US and on our way to my parent's house. Bob was awake enough to drive while the kids zonked and I nodded off. Our 4Runner rental seemed enormous with oh so much room for our luggage and backpacks without having to maximize every square inch of space! The roads and the highway were so wide, and we immediately noticed the difference between European and American drivers (faster and more aggressive). We arrived to Brookfield at 1:30am, gave hugs to my dad who was so happy to see us, and fell into bed at 2am (no checking for bed bugs necessary!)

1am Chicago time, 9am Ljubljana time!

We were so tired, and thought jet lag would not be a big deal, but I was awake at 6am or earlier for the next few nights. It was comforting to be in such a familiar place with my parents. My dad made his homemade bread, our family stopped by to see us (Kurt, Kristine, Alyssa, Thomas, Rachel, and John), Bob and the kids got haircuts (Bob's person got a new clipper for Christmas!), and Simone and I made gingerbread cutout cookies. My mom made the meals we requested: ham loaf (Quinn's favorite) and pork ribs. In a way it felt like a routine holiday visit - except when we remembered we were in Ljubljana only a few days ago.

After 3 nights with my parents we headed off to Madison to spend one night with my best friend from high school and her family. Spending a night with them has become a tradition that we all love and wish we could do more often. We played charades (Simone's request) and the adults played plenty of Pickleball.

The next morning we headed to Wendy and Mats' house where we met up with Gus and Steph and Nick and Gretchen for NYE. We played family Pickleball, took walks, ate Swedish meatballs, and went to the Essen House for a few hours (it will be closing next year).

On 1/2/25 we packed our bags one last time and drove to O'Hare to fly home to Denver. All was on time, and Pharr picked us up (he had dropped us off on June 10). It felt like all was full circle...especially when Bob and Pharr had to use every inch of space to fit our four bags plus an additional one with our extra clothes/souvenirs. The kids and I sat in the backseat with Quinn's luggage on our laps :-)

It was nice to arrive home by about 5pm with enough time to unpack a bit and go to Chipotle for our much awaited dinner! This decision had been made a long time ago, and it was so fun to be sitting at our kitchen table, eating the meals we had been anticipating for so long, in a spot where 7 months ago we ate our last dinner with so many random leftovers to clean out the refrigerator! The unpacking and moving in again (sort of) will take time, but thankfully we have it - school doesn't start until Tuesday, and I'm not working until February. After 50 different pillows and 17 countries, we all were excited to finally sleep in our own beds. Little did we know our hot water heater was not working and would take over a week to get fixed.

Our uncluttered, simple existence has ended and the complexities of home life have started. If we had never left, I would never know anything different. I'm so thankful and grateful for the unforgettable experience. For 6.5 months we took a break from our little world and discovered so many other little worlds. I am thinking about a quote that I read from a woman who spent a year traveling with her family, and she said, "I am small and the world is big."

I think about that and what it means to me...which is that I love to travel and experience, but so what? Traveling full time is not sustainable nor desirable for me. The point is to experience the world, with all of its angles, opinions, and complexities, and then return to your little place and make it better. Smile at people (I appreciate this so much more now after being in Turkey where this didn't happen), and have patience and help people who don't speak your language (because I know how grateful I was to have a kind stranger help us abroad).

Ah ha moment here: I think this is a huge piece of my life that I was missing while we were away. I am such an empathetic person who loves helping people, and I found myself missing my job where I get to help patients every day who are in a very vulnerable and sometimes scared personal place. I hopefully get to ease their anxiety and give them comfort, which brings me so much joy...to help another when they are so nervous and unsure.

I didn't get to do this while we were away - instead I was the one needing help and guidance. What we could do was try to be good travelers and guests in the places we were for a short while...to present a good image of people exploring, of Americans, and of being environmentally conscious.