My final thoughts are divided into two parts. The first section I wrote on the flights from Istanbul to Chicago, and then from Chicago to Denver. The second part I wrote after being at home for two weeks.
Part One:
We enjoyed the simplicity in our journey:
there were no gyms, no different kids' activities everywhere (swim, dance, karate, gymnastics, etc) no large stores always available (Target, King Sooopers, etc)
Instead, we see families spending more time together - America seems more about convenience - stores always open, wide fast roads, people hurried.
uncluttered
We have just what we need but nothing more. Our packing cubes are a big win; we all know where each piece of clothing is and exactly what we have. It is so easy and simple.
Lack of drama - we are removed from all other relationships and just focused on each other. We feel like we spend a lot of time w our kids, and are focused on quality, but this trip makes us appreciate the amount of solid togetherness we have experienced in these last 6.5 months. One of Bob's friends commented that even when he’s with his kids, he feels like he is distracted by other things (catching up on emails, texts). We relied on each other, trusted each other, and realized that each of us had the power to positively or negatively affect the overall mood of the group, and so even when the activity might not be what you wanted to be doing, you engaged in it for the benefit of all of us.
Reintegration:
I love our family, friends, community…but reintegration feels complicated and makes me feel tired. I feel so conflicted.
While we were away I found myself feeling frustrated and fed up with easy things being difficult - washing machine and grocery store translating, adjusting to different kitchens and food availability at grocery stores, not being able to go on a comfortable walk from our place, not being able to drink tap water. But now, heading home to all of the comforts that we are used to, where easy things will be easy again, I’m conflicted because with all of those comforts also come the complexities and distractions of typical American family life.
At times I found myself feeling tired of my role in our family unit of planning the food to buy, grocery shopping, lunch and dinner planning/making, and calculating the consumption of our food to minimize the amount we had to transport to our next place. It was this balance of having enough, but not too much, but also knowing it was nice to arrive with enough food to our new place that we didn’t have to grocery shop immediately (especially if it happened to be a Sunday). The constant food calculation was getting tiresome. I missed my job, and the intense personal satisfaction it brings to me.
But now, returning home to where I can freely buy groceries and not calculate our next move, and returning to the career I love, that also means I won’t be seeing my kids all morning while they sit and do their schoolwork. I won’t be fixing lunch for 4 and asking the kids if they got enough accomplished so we could tour a bit that afternoon. I won’t be taking duvets out of their coverings in each new place to create a top sheet (no top sheets anywhere!)
With the simple, uncluttered life we had came with it some logistic frustrations and role monotony for me - but also the joy and beauty of being with our kids all day every day. I didn’t know how much Bob and I would love and appreciate that piece…and how sad I feel to send them off to school in a few days. We did everything together - exercising, exploring, eating, discussing, moving, packing. Now, our task is discussing how we can preserve the bonds and togetherness we cemented and keep it going at home.
The kids are so excited to get home, and say they feel little sadness that our journey is ending (though Quinn came to me this morning at Wendy’s house and said he was excited to get home but sad it was ending - then asked me for a hug - a very sweet moment). Quinn also said he was surprised how much he loved our trip and how much that surprised him because he was dreading it ever since we talked about doing it for the past few years.
Bob and I feel more of a mix of emotions - and I think that comes with age and experience and life events. I feel intense nostalgia when I think of all the years of talking about the dream of taking this trip, the planning involved to make it happen, then actually achieving the journey, and now almost being back on the ground in Denver returning to our regular life. We’ve had 50 stops in 17 countries and are returning to our home after 210 days away…and I’m looking backwards thinking, “did that trip actually happen?” I’m incredulous that it did, and nostalgic that this segment of our lives is over and will never happen again (in the same capacity - with our kids at these ages, and receptive to us and our thoughts/beliefs).
We were briefly on the ORD airport train with a woman who commented on the amount of luggage the 4 of us had (our 4 roller duffels plus an extra roller). We told her we’d been traveling for 7 months, and her face lit up and wanted to hear all we could say in the short amount of time we had together. When Bob and I expressed a bit of sadness/melancholy that it was over, she smiled big and said, “but you DID it!” I think I will be hearing her voice in my head for awhile, and it will bring me joy to remember what the 4 of us experienced together.
Part Two:
I am unpacking, and I am overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and thankfulness.
I love our little community, our little piece of the world. I always knew that, but I feel a renewed intense appreciation for the charmed life we live.
All of our intense thinking, planning, and packing...it all paid off. I think I already knew this about myself, but it really came to light with this trip: I get intense satisfaction/pride from being prepared for all things. Everything had a home, and I knew exactly where each critical piece was (anti itch cream, needle/thread, scissors, pink eye drops, thermometer, cough medicine, extra straps for Quinn's brace - probably my biggest 'W'!). I love being able to help when someone needs it, whether it's dental floss or a medical emergency. My quart-sized bag of Kind/Lara bars made it around the world with me, smooshed in the pocket of my backpack where they were always accessible. At one point Bob found them and wanted to send them back with me in August because we never used them and they were heavy, but I couldn't part with them. They were part of my 'what if' security blanket that brought me comfort :-)
The things that I had along that Amy and Matt recommended to us that I would not have thought of but that were awesome to have: scissors (so many places did not have them), laundry detergent in sheets (TOTAL necessity! So easy to travel with), the passport/phone holder that attached to my backpack strap, packing cubes (initially did not think I needed, but are so necessary!)
Bob's planning with all the pieces of our travel was amazing, from our accommodations and transportation, to distances from place to place, and points of interest in each location. He is an expert at mapping out every detail that gave us so many unforgettable days and memories.
We all stayed completely healthy for the whole trip - unbelievable. I was oftentimes worried about my parent's health, and knew I may have to make an emergency flight back to Wisconsin. That never happened. We always felt safe. We didn't get robbed. We didn't get bedbugs, but I most definitely gave my kids a complex about it! (In trying to be educational before we left, I told them what to look for on the mattress/sheets in each new place, and in doing so made them excessively worry!) Since we've returned, I've seen an article that Turkish Airlines has had a number of flights infested with 'bb's' (as Simone started referring to them) from Istanbul to the States - OMG! I can't imagine if that would have been our ending to this trip!
I loved our phases of our trip: summer vacation and travel, school starting and a routine begins, then cultural learning in Turkey and Bosnia. I loved the Wonder Years (so many good conversation starters!), James Bond (watching it in Istanbul where we saw scenes filmed there and in Venice where we just were!), Ted Lasso (watching it in Richmond and visiting his bar), and Christmas movies every night.
I loved all the pieces that we extensively planned, and also the surprises along the way. We planned to dive deep into WWII history, but we never expected to be in Bosnia-Herzegovina immersed in the history of the Bosnian War. I have vivid memories of sitting with Bob on the rooftop of our hotel in Cappadoccia, and sharing his frustration in trying to plan our time out of the Schengen region in countries he never planned on going to (Turkey, Bosnia, Albania, Montenegro). So, to have Bosnia be one of the surprise highlights of our whole journey is so amazing. I don't think Bosnia would have ever been on our travel radar, and I am so grateful we were there! I would absolutely return.
Finally, I love the feeling that we were being watched over and that Bob and I made the right decisions for our family with the information that we had available at the time. We met certain people and learned specific information at various times that helped to shape the trip into the fantastic experience that it was: managing our time in/out of Schengen at the start of the trip which resulted in only needing 45 days out at the end, staying at the Sander's place while they were in the US, learning we were approved for our visa but then talking with Paulo's friend and realizing we shouldn't go through with it, following Durst's itinerary in Turkey, and making the decision to come home to start the New Year.
It feels right to be home right now. Our trip was a win, and we squeezed the absolute most out of 6.5 months. We love having our basement exercise room back, especially for Quinn to make sure he's staying as strong and as flexible as possible. It's comforting to have his medical team at Children's close by, and know that if we need care that we're in the US and we'll be well cared for.
The thing I am most thankful for is the trust our kids have in Bob and me. They talk to us and confide in us, and I so hope that continues now that we're home. I was amazed at their resilience during our travels, and how they never cried or broke down about missing things/people at home, which would have been totally understandable but it never happened! They embraced the experiences, all the newness, and the lack of familiarity. When I've shared this with a few people, they credit Bob and me for how well the kids adjusted...which is nice to hear, but they deserve most of it. There was so much change, so many new beds and new food, and it all could have easily become too much.
I want to remember all the words/phrases the kids have said so much over the past 7 months, so Simone wrote them down for me:
Gyatt - butt
Skibity - cool, nice
Rizzy - good looking
Rizzler - someone who is cool
Sigma - cool, nice
Bet - ok
Bet cu - ok, yes
Bet cuzzo - ok, yes
SUUUUUUUU - LETS GOOO
Cracked - really good
Dingus - idiot, silly, used everyday
Dingus eggs - idiot, silly
Chill your buttery biscuits - chill
Slay baddie - cool person
That’s an L - too bad for you, used everyday
That's a W - good for you
No comments:
Post a Comment